Posts Tagged ‘scifi’

some jokes for the beginning of May ;)

May 3, 2014

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Via Bill Koller: An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels .
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No … not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

 

New thief prisoner enters in his cell: “Why you put these bars on the windows?” the thief asks the warder. “Because of security…” answers the wader. “You are insane! Who will try to enter and steal something from the prison???

Via Mari Eta: Preparing for a hunt, a father took his son’s cigarettes… Until afternoon, he had already shot a dragon, 3 mermaids and 2 trolls…

 

Plus a new thought from a book of mine:

Have a nice May, everyone :)!

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard,

www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

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some jokes for the beginning of spring-time :)

March 24, 2014

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Wish you a nice spring-time, everyone :)!

via Mari Eta: It’s not shameful for a man to cry… It’s shameful when his make-up is washed out…

 

Via Sanjay Shukla: INDIA:HEAVEN ON EARTH:
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he Noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ‘$10,000 per call’.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and
He asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000
He Could talk to God.

‘ O.K., thank you,’ said the American.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Srilanka, Russia, Germany and France …

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘$10,000 Per call’ sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there
Was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read

‘One
Rupee per call.’

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
‘Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?’ The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in India now, Son – it’s a Local Call’.This is the only heaven on the Earth. 
KEEP SMILING 
If you are proud to be an Indian pass this on!!!

Via Mari Eta: Never wrap a GMO fish in a newspaper… The GMO bastard fills in the crossword puzzle…

 

And my usual quote/thought from some of my writings:

(Oftentimes) the best way toward courage is knowledge… from my Lake Mystery.

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.comhttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bardwww.shelfari.com/allanbard

The Hobbit 2, The Desolation Of Smaug – a good reason to get a 3D TV…

December 20, 2013
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“Welcome to the world of your childhood dreams!” This should be the greeting the agents/ushers in the movie saloons should say to all who go to see the 2nd part of one of the most famous fairy-tales…  And this greeting won’t be exaggerated as the movie is so magnificently well-made that one feels like a part of the fairy-tale itself…

 

Despite all the incredible, though extremely dangerous, adventures of the thirteen dwarves, the wise wizard and the young hobbit, the amazing special effects and the great costumes, the next part of the faity-tale would probably disappoint some of Tolkien’s fans when they find out it has little in common with the book. Yet, I guess when they see the amazing way the director and the other creators of the movie revived the story, they all would be in awe of all the dangers, well-developed dialogues, the incredible creatures, etc…

 

Contrary to the book, the new part of The Hobbit is not for kids again, even more than the 1st An Unexpected Journey. It’s much darker and more serious than the fairy-tale written on paper, with some new characters that were not present in the book, with a lot of new scenes and events, which were just mentioned but not described in J. R. Tolkien masterpiece (like the meeting with Sauron’s spirit and his subordinates, the events that lead to Thorin’s nickname, etc). A lot of the well-known adventures are developed to such an extent that at moments one feels that it’s a totally new story. But all that is so well-combined with the rest of the movie it makes it worthy of more admiration.

 

The new characters (not mentioned in the book) are so well created that they all become an essential part of all the dangerous and incredible adventures. I bet even the author would like the excellent fighter, the she-elf Tauriel (the great-looking Evangelyn Lily, a star from Lost) and her impossible love with the dwarf Kily, the dreadful white orc Azog and his incredible strength and ability to endure the constant pain of the prosthesis stuck in his cut arm, etc… Not to mention the many battle scenes that are so well-created they are almost impossible to achive in real life.

 

When all these details are combined with the 3 D motion picture, the experience in the movie salons becomes a dream come true… After all those complains about 3 D effects that tire our eyes, I would say The Hobbit would be a good reason to buy a 3 D TV set. Watching such movies at home could be accompanied with some rests from time to time and we could enjoy all the magnificence of the genre without being afraid about our eyesight so much?

 

Finally, I would like to point out that both the parts of The Hobbit’s movies are not for kids. There are too many and too vicious battle scenes and merciless killings, so I guess a lot of the younger fans would have sleep trouble after 2,30 – 2,40 hours spent at the movie salon…   

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com