Posts Tagged ‘sci-fy’

Happy 1st April, everyone ;)! Some jokes to make you feel better if you’ve been fooled…

April 2, 2014

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If a young lady can pick up 2 kg of whortleberries for a day in the woods, and a young boy could pick up 3 kg of whortleberries for the same time, then it doesn’t mean that if they both go to the forest at the same time they would pick up 5 kg of whortleberries for a day…

 

A teacher asked a student to name a few animals, starting at 2 and then increasing the number of the species by one: “Lion and…” said the first.

“Lion, tiger and…” said the 2nd.

“Lion, tiger, rabbit and…” said the 3rd.

“Two lions, two tigers and a rabbit…” said the 4th.

 

 A train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat,

but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle aged French woman’s poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am may I have that seat”?
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat”.
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.
Please Ma’am, may I sit down, I’m very tired?. She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude you are also arrogant”.
This time the Marine didn’t say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked “Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!”
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. “Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.”
“You hold your fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. You drink your beer cold.

“And now Sir you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window..  

 

To blame the majority for the sins of a few is as wise as blaming the passengers for the driver’s mistakes. my future Origin Of Gods.

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bardwww.shelfari.com/allanbard,   

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.comhttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

some jokes before Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, everyone! Best wishes!

December 25, 2013

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The Hobbit 2, The Desolation Of Smaug – a good reason to get a 3D TV…

December 20, 2013
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“Welcome to the world of your childhood dreams!” This should be the greeting the agents/ushers in the movie saloons should say to all who go to see the 2nd part of one of the most famous fairy-tales…  And this greeting won’t be exaggerated as the movie is so magnificently well-made that one feels like a part of the fairy-tale itself…

 

Despite all the incredible, though extremely dangerous, adventures of the thirteen dwarves, the wise wizard and the young hobbit, the amazing special effects and the great costumes, the next part of the faity-tale would probably disappoint some of Tolkien’s fans when they find out it has little in common with the book. Yet, I guess when they see the amazing way the director and the other creators of the movie revived the story, they all would be in awe of all the dangers, well-developed dialogues, the incredible creatures, etc…

 

Contrary to the book, the new part of The Hobbit is not for kids again, even more than the 1st An Unexpected Journey. It’s much darker and more serious than the fairy-tale written on paper, with some new characters that were not present in the book, with a lot of new scenes and events, which were just mentioned but not described in J. R. Tolkien masterpiece (like the meeting with Sauron’s spirit and his subordinates, the events that lead to Thorin’s nickname, etc). A lot of the well-known adventures are developed to such an extent that at moments one feels that it’s a totally new story. But all that is so well-combined with the rest of the movie it makes it worthy of more admiration.

 

The new characters (not mentioned in the book) are so well created that they all become an essential part of all the dangerous and incredible adventures. I bet even the author would like the excellent fighter, the she-elf Tauriel (the great-looking Evangelyn Lily, a star from Lost) and her impossible love with the dwarf Kily, the dreadful white orc Azog and his incredible strength and ability to endure the constant pain of the prosthesis stuck in his cut arm, etc… Not to mention the many battle scenes that are so well-created they are almost impossible to achive in real life.

 

When all these details are combined with the 3 D motion picture, the experience in the movie salons becomes a dream come true… After all those complains about 3 D effects that tire our eyes, I would say The Hobbit would be a good reason to buy a 3 D TV set. Watching such movies at home could be accompanied with some rests from time to time and we could enjoy all the magnificence of the genre without being afraid about our eyesight so much?

 

Finally, I would like to point out that both the parts of The Hobbit’s movies are not for kids. There are too many and too vicious battle scenes and merciless killings, so I guess a lot of the younger fans would have sleep trouble after 2,30 – 2,40 hours spent at the movie salon…   

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Dark Path, by Luke Romyn – a breath-taking story about a modern Apocalypse, the most horrible ancient cult, the deadliest assassin and the kindest “light bearer”.

December 12, 2013

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Some people say: Bad luck often brings good luck, or: Only a thief could catch a thief, others that only light could destroy darkness… Yet, Luke Romyn’s book is certain prove about the truth in both sentences.

The modern story about the saving of a new messiah from an ancient and disgusting cult contains so many vivid descriptions of horrible killings, bloody scenes of mafia and assassins’ wars, hatred and will to destroy all the sacred and kind in life, that many readers would definetly have nightmares after turning over some of the pages. Many of them will be convinced that only the evil deeds would deal with the dreadful way of the murderers and their bosses to earn their living and satisfy their striving for power. Evil is the best tool against the horrors done by any bad characters and kings of the crime realm, they would say, pointing out that the most dreadful assasin was the one who actually saved the young messiah from his inevitable doom. Others would remember the glorious power of the good intentions, triumphing over the most powerful weapon of Satan and would claim there’s nothing that could beat the kind thoughts and wise decisions…

The breath-taking adventures of the messiah-kid and his protector, the ex-good cop and present dreadful assasin, are described by an excellent style. Usually, stories written in English have to contain short sentences, dividing those with more words to a couple of separate lines. Yet, that way the style changes and the events and thoughts described by an author become something different… Luke Romyn’s writing, however, has long enough sentences with all the necessary adjectives, verbs, descriptions, etc. to make his story more breath-taking, interesting, and even with some touch of the ancient fairy-tales, according to my opinion. His imagination is as good as his writing skills and I guess everyone would enjoy all the adventures of the main characters, trying to escape the dreadful chasers of the most evil cult and their many cunning traps.

However, The Dark Path is not just a new story about merciless killings and evil, religious fanatics’s plans. Amongst all the bloody scenes and supernatural creatures, the author included some amazing philosophy, revealing the importance to do good and what the world would look like with a real balance between all the nations. Because of the author’s way to reveal his thoughts and imagination, many, if not all, of the non-believers would reconsider their attitude towards Bible and religious teachings at the end of the book. I guess that, together with the great writing style, would make those who don’t like to read and prefer to watch movies based on books instead to become better book lovers. Besides, reading the story, everyone would discover the great experience to „see” and „feel” such details which could be hard to notice watching a movie, no matter what good special effects its creators included. The description of hell, for example, is so vivid and horribly awesome that it could send cold shivers even down the spines of the toughest readers and horror genre’s fans. For some others, it could turn out to be a mirror for their deepest and most dreadful fears… I guess a hell where the devil’s a woman could surpass the wildest fantasies or nightmares…

Despite the author’s breath-taking way to put to words the gripping adventures of his characters, some book-lovers would admit The Dark Path is naïve at some moments (though I would say that’s a part of its beauty too, aren’t we all at least a bit tired of all the “meaningful” reality?). They would probably add that the end is too sudden and incomplete (and that’s the only thing in the book I don’t like too), yet it seems it’s just the author’s way to make the “passage” to his next stories smooth enough…    

No matter how good Luke Romyn is at describing horrors and ever-lasting philosophy, his skills in humour and jokes are amazing too. His facebook page and site are full of evidences for that: https://www.facebook.com/luke.romyn?fref=ts. Though the author prefers to write dreadful mysteries like The Dark Path, I guess if more people ask him to combine his funny thoughts in a story or two (or include them in some of his other works), he would create some new, even more amazing books, with a perfect balance between fun and seriousness. Good luck in the future, my fb friend, Luke Romyn! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (as my water dragons’ hunters would greet).  

 

 

 

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

  

 

jokes for the beginning of the new week and the end of weekend ;).

July 1, 2013

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Some of the bad consequences of being too busy with many different errands is that one could hardly post at his/her blog… Yet, there is always a light in the end of tunnel – to deal with every task/errnad seems not so hard at moments, if only we organize our time well :)….

Two passengers are traveling in a train and the one looks at the other from top to toe. Finally, he says:

“It seems, you look just like my wife, if I just ignore the mustache…”

“But I don’t wear a mustache?” says the other.

“Yes, you don’t… But my wife wears one…”

Via Joe O’Connell: a little boy in the drugstore with his dad, suddenly creates a fuss, he wants a chocolate Easter Bunny. finally his father gives him one but the boy has a temper storm. he wants a male Easter bunny. the druggist and the father try to tell the boy it doesn’t make any difference, with that the boy holds up his little finger, and says there’s that much more chocolate…

 

What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when it hits your windshield? It’s asshole.

Evolution could be a crazy thing sometimes – it could create people who could be so narrow-minded to like and love only one book, movie, idea, song… from my future Space Ghosts.

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,   

Can worst criminals become sane and carrying people?

April 21, 2013

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All our history is checkered with disgusting crimes of murder, torture, rapes, etc. That’s why some of the killers and criminals responsible for these dreadful events became so famous with their illegal actions that probably many real celebrities envied them for their notoriety.

On the other hand, a lot of other innocent men, women and children, who experienced such crimes, couldn’t sleep well for week, years, or until the end of their days because of these vile acts (if they survived the worst criminals’ way to earn their living). Most of these victims would always claim the disgusting people who caused them so much trouble and pain must endure the most severe punishments. The poor sufferers would underline the guilty for their inevitable situation deserve such a fate, no matter whether they repented themselves of their previous sins or of what made them ruin many innocent citizens and villagers’ future. Of course, after the horrible events from their past, the innocent victims have every right to think that way (criminals like the pedophile who a couple of years ago raped and after that killed a six year old girl in Bulgaria deserve the nastiest, most extreme and merciless end). Yet, it doesn’t mean many of the sentenced criminals couldn’t regret for their dreadful crimes in the future. Of course, this shouldn’t be considered a good excuse for the total remission of their sins and punishments. Though it should take its place amongst the reasons why, if not all, then many (or most) of the horrible gangsters and murderers could really change their frame of mind, behaviour, way of life, etc for better…

Deep down even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: Love and acceptance.”This quote of Lily Fairchilde made me become more wrapped in this subject and remember some details about some of the horrible outlaws’ past and deeds. The same details probably helped the one who said this sentence to realize the truth in such a statement. Many of the sentenced or still free criminals have good families, carrying wives, children who have the best education possible, their friends enjoy many benefits such not-perfect but wealthy persons could offer, etc… I guess people who have kind thoughts like these together with the enormous striving for the so called “greatness” in the crimes’ world are capable of turning into something like decent human beings? If the will is there on their part, of course…

It’s a well-known fact that every fact (scientific or any other) and rule have their exceptions. So, there certainly are such gangsters and all other types of criminals (including politicians) who wouldn’t change their behaviour and way of life even for all the gold in the world. If there is such an offer, I even bet some of them would gladly take the enormous quantity of precious metal and would continue with their disgusting deeds, even more than before (when Al Capone was killing people for example, he had such a brain waves’ picture as the vicious predators in the animal world when they try to “earn their living”… Probably only death could put an end to such a way of thinking and life…).

The subject of the changes that the worst criminals could go through is so vast that anyone could write a novel about it I guess. But a blog post/note like this should just point out some basic facts and details and leave enough space for comments? Which complete the author’s thoughts and opinion?

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard

Forever Found, Forever Lost – a modern werewolves’ story.

March 31, 2013

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A book could be one of the best gifts for most occasions. If you didn’t feel the truth in such a statement, maybe you haven’t had the right book as a present J. I for one felt it again when a few months ago I received my copy as a gift from the author himself (can you believe he sent it thousands of miles away from USA – up to Europe, Bulgaria :)! And I’m really glad for his confidence and trust in my reading skills, thank you, my friend, Ross Osborn!

Actually, I usually don’t like stories with too common characters in the genre like vampires, werewolves, fairies, etc (they are as ordinary already as the people we see every day in the streets), and try to create some new in some of my books (have a look at my blog post New vs. old characters in fantasy/sci-fi genre). Yet, as every rule and fact have their exceptions, Forever Found, Forever Lost is a excellent prove a story with common characters could be as interesting as any other with any creatures and monsters involved. To combine the old fairy-tale and fantasy beings with new details and adventures is a great way to create a breath-taking story and Ross Osborn did a good job with this werewolves’ novel of his. Here, every fan of fantasy, horror and thriller genres could find guiding lines about the way to really kill a werewolf, what a life such creatures should actually lead to avoid killing of innocent people, the interesting and thrilling feelings and senses the hairy and vicious beings have, etc.

I guess some people wouldn’t agree with me, but I couldn’t refrain from pointing out this book also includes not only horror, breath-taking adventures, facts and events. There are philosophy and wisdom too, there’s what the enormous power of one of the greatest forces in the Universe (LOVE with capital letters) could do, there are interesting details about life in the cold areas of Alaska and the customs of the natives, etc.

Finally, I have to admit I really enjoyed all the slang and Scottish dialect’s expressions in the book. As I am not a native speaking English guy, they looked as interesting and informative to me as the other facts and descriptions in the story J.

Thank you again, my friend, Ross Osborn! Will be glad to read your next books too, with all the gripping and informative adventures and events!

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard

some jokes for the end of the week…:)

March 17, 2013

ImageHope everyone had a nice weekend? if not so much, I guess some funny jokes could repair that?

Why did the banker and his wife get divorced? They lost interest. Via Daryl Grant
Two five year old boys are standing at the toliet to piss. one says your thing dosen’t have any skin on it. i’ve been circumcised the other replied. whats that mean ? it means they cut the skin off the end. how old were you when it was cut off. my mom says i was two days old. did it hurt the kid asked . you bet it hurt i didn’t walk for a year…
Husband is throwing darts at his wife’s photo, not a single dart is hitting the target. Wife calls out, “Honey, what are you doing?” Husband: “Missing you!”
To make love with all the women in the world is number one dream of all men… Strangely, the men who could really claim they fulfilled it are so called nerds with good imagination… from my future Incredible Future :).
http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

The good way to make even the worst horror movies valuable.

March 14, 2013

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I know I already wrote and posted a similar post about changing soap operas into something everyone would appreciate. Yet, I guess all the people and fans would agree there’s a huge difference between the long, modern love and treachery stories and the dreadful plots and creatures, criminals and monsters of the horror movies. Therefore, I’d say there should be a great difference too between the ways to make soap operas and motion pictures with too much blood and killings worthy of Oscars?

Actually, there’s also an enormous difference between the fans of these totally different kinds of movies. The guys who couldn’t live without the dreadful events of the horror stories are usually youngsters with uneasy and troubled minds (and good imagination), or future criminals and murderers, or not so young people with insane thoughts and desires. While the fans of the long (and meaningless according to many critics and common viewers) soap operas could be found mostly amongst down to earth housewives and their husbands and friends who above all appreciate family values and simple, everyday joys. Modern love sagas’ men and women would never kill or torture someone for the pure joy of such an awful act, unless their life or the life of their kin and friends are endangered. They would never go to a school or other public place with a loaded gun and a lot of ammunition to send to heaven or oblivion many innocent kids or men and women. Their thoughts would never lead to a mass murder just to “show and prove” the righteousness of an idea, or to make the world “a better place”… On the other hand, the horror movies’ fans would do any of these incredibly vicious deeds, and wouldn’t hide the fact the bloody “tips” they could see in their favourite motion pictures were their inspiration and mottos for their insane and disgusting deeds.

“Horror movies don’t create serial killers, they just give them ideas.” These were the words of a character from Psycho (the 1998 version), though many of the enemies of the bloody stories would say quite the opposite. As there are so dreadful horror movies that they could provoke desire for blood spilling and killings even in the most kind-hearted and non-violent spectators, I will always remember the interview of a mother who said that the main reason for her son to become an insane killer were the awful scenes from his favourite bloody motion pictures. Such madness should make us all want to welcome a law or rule that would forbid the creation of movies in which one could only see meaningless murders, cruel killings and lots of other disgusting activity. The horror moments in such motion pictures should be just hints; the rest should be some wise thoughts, some philosophy, some noble deeds… In other words, they should become a combination of genres, then, any movie fan would see the wisdom there, not the inspiration for insanity… Just for example, there are a lot of killings and horrible moments in The Lord Of the Rings too, yet as there is a lot of philosophy and wise thoughts, it became the movie of the year at the annual Oscars and wouldn’t be a movie which could inspire desire to end humans’ life…

I guess it is not the only way to make the horror movies valuable; many other people could give some even better ideas. But I bet anyone would agree to combine the horror with philosophy and wisdom and create a rule or law about that could be a good cause to drastically decrease the awful side effects of the bloody and deadly scenes.

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

Happy 1st March + some advice for flu healing + some jokes :)

March 2, 2013

ImageImageHapy 1st March, everyone! It’s a very special date for every Bulgarian! On that day we give one another small souvenirs, Marchers, made of white and red threads, we Bulgarians pin them on our clothes for good luck and health or tie them on our wrists, then wear them until we see the 1st stork or the first blossom on a tree that gives fruit, then we hang them on that tree or put them under a stone, so that the good luck and health won’t leave us troughout the year ;). This custom is so old, more old than 1300 years, can you believe that! It’s older than the foundation of Bulgaria itself!

As I was sick with flu for a week, I couldn’t refrain from re-posting some good advices for healing some of my facebook friends told me:

Mariya Doncheva Drink herbal tea with Maple Syrup (or brown sugar) and lemon a couple of slices !!! Eat hot chicken soup…with black pepper or red chilly at night and raw garlic or red onion for lunch!!!

Beverly Cialone Don’t know if you drink alcohol, but there’s a lot to be said for a “hot toddy”…a drink of liquor with honey and lemon added in…try it! In the meantime, hope you get to feeling better!

Mariya Doncheva And listen to favorite music … while relaxing !!!

Beverly Cialone And follow the regular advice as well…plenty of rest, liquids (hot liquids help break up congestion–coffee, hot tea, etc), make sure to keep your electrolytes balanced to avoid dehydration if you’ve been having stomach issues…don’t force yourself to eat if you’re not hungry, although bland foods like plain toast, saltine crackers, applesauce, bananas, etc,. help if you’re stomach is upset. So does ginger.

Hope the next jokes will make the weekend better for anyone :):

Two women are talking: “I don’t want a man that’s interested with my beauty, wealth, or state in society… I want one who’s interested with my soul…”

“Then, you are looking for the devil, my dear…?”

A guide in an African country: “In this country, every tenth person is a cannibal…”

“What about the rest nine persons?”

“Well, they are very close to break the world record at running at long distances…”

“Did you start to open your your window while you sleep, as I suggested?” asks a doctor his patient.

“Oh, yes.”

“Then, your asthma disappeared?”

“No, but my wallet, jewelry, credit cards did…”

And the quote from a future book of mine: There are things more important than life and death, beauty and ugliness, money and success, etc… One of them is called moral. my future Lake Mystery.

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard