Posts Tagged ‘literature’

some jokes for the beginning of May ;)

May 3, 2014

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Via Bill Koller: An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels .
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No … not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.

 

New thief prisoner enters in his cell: “Why you put these bars on the windows?” the thief asks the warder. “Because of security…” answers the wader. “You are insane! Who will try to enter and steal something from the prison???

Via Mari Eta: Preparing for a hunt, a father took his son’s cigarettes… Until afternoon, he had already shot a dragon, 3 mermaids and 2 trolls…

 

Plus a new thought from a book of mine:

Have a nice May, everyone :)!

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard,

www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

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Happy 1st April, everyone ;)! Some jokes to make you feel better if you’ve been fooled…

April 2, 2014

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If a young lady can pick up 2 kg of whortleberries for a day in the woods, and a young boy could pick up 3 kg of whortleberries for the same time, then it doesn’t mean that if they both go to the forest at the same time they would pick up 5 kg of whortleberries for a day…

 

A teacher asked a student to name a few animals, starting at 2 and then increasing the number of the species by one: “Lion and…” said the first.

“Lion, tiger and…” said the 2nd.

“Lion, tiger, rabbit and…” said the 3rd.

“Two lions, two tigers and a rabbit…” said the 4th.

 

 A train was quite crowded and a U.S. Marine walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat,

but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle aged French woman’s poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am may I have that seat”?
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat”.
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.
Please Ma’am, may I sit down, I’m very tired?. She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude you are also arrogant”.
This time the Marine didn’t say a word, he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.
The woman shrieked “Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!”
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. “Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.”
“You hold your fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. You drink your beer cold.

“And now Sir you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window..  

 

To blame the majority for the sins of a few is as wise as blaming the passengers for the driver’s mistakes. my future Origin Of Gods.

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bardwww.shelfari.com/allanbard,   

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.comhttp://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

some jokes before Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, everyone! Best wishes!

December 25, 2013

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The Dark Path, by Luke Romyn – a breath-taking story about a modern Apocalypse, the most horrible ancient cult, the deadliest assassin and the kindest “light bearer”.

December 12, 2013

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Some people say: Bad luck often brings good luck, or: Only a thief could catch a thief, others that only light could destroy darkness… Yet, Luke Romyn’s book is certain prove about the truth in both sentences.

The modern story about the saving of a new messiah from an ancient and disgusting cult contains so many vivid descriptions of horrible killings, bloody scenes of mafia and assassins’ wars, hatred and will to destroy all the sacred and kind in life, that many readers would definetly have nightmares after turning over some of the pages. Many of them will be convinced that only the evil deeds would deal with the dreadful way of the murderers and their bosses to earn their living and satisfy their striving for power. Evil is the best tool against the horrors done by any bad characters and kings of the crime realm, they would say, pointing out that the most dreadful assasin was the one who actually saved the young messiah from his inevitable doom. Others would remember the glorious power of the good intentions, triumphing over the most powerful weapon of Satan and would claim there’s nothing that could beat the kind thoughts and wise decisions…

The breath-taking adventures of the messiah-kid and his protector, the ex-good cop and present dreadful assasin, are described by an excellent style. Usually, stories written in English have to contain short sentences, dividing those with more words to a couple of separate lines. Yet, that way the style changes and the events and thoughts described by an author become something different… Luke Romyn’s writing, however, has long enough sentences with all the necessary adjectives, verbs, descriptions, etc. to make his story more breath-taking, interesting, and even with some touch of the ancient fairy-tales, according to my opinion. His imagination is as good as his writing skills and I guess everyone would enjoy all the adventures of the main characters, trying to escape the dreadful chasers of the most evil cult and their many cunning traps.

However, The Dark Path is not just a new story about merciless killings and evil, religious fanatics’s plans. Amongst all the bloody scenes and supernatural creatures, the author included some amazing philosophy, revealing the importance to do good and what the world would look like with a real balance between all the nations. Because of the author’s way to reveal his thoughts and imagination, many, if not all, of the non-believers would reconsider their attitude towards Bible and religious teachings at the end of the book. I guess that, together with the great writing style, would make those who don’t like to read and prefer to watch movies based on books instead to become better book lovers. Besides, reading the story, everyone would discover the great experience to „see” and „feel” such details which could be hard to notice watching a movie, no matter what good special effects its creators included. The description of hell, for example, is so vivid and horribly awesome that it could send cold shivers even down the spines of the toughest readers and horror genre’s fans. For some others, it could turn out to be a mirror for their deepest and most dreadful fears… I guess a hell where the devil’s a woman could surpass the wildest fantasies or nightmares…

Despite the author’s breath-taking way to put to words the gripping adventures of his characters, some book-lovers would admit The Dark Path is naïve at some moments (though I would say that’s a part of its beauty too, aren’t we all at least a bit tired of all the “meaningful” reality?). They would probably add that the end is too sudden and incomplete (and that’s the only thing in the book I don’t like too), yet it seems it’s just the author’s way to make the “passage” to his next stories smooth enough…    

No matter how good Luke Romyn is at describing horrors and ever-lasting philosophy, his skills in humour and jokes are amazing too. His facebook page and site are full of evidences for that: https://www.facebook.com/luke.romyn?fref=ts. Though the author prefers to write dreadful mysteries like The Dark Path, I guess if more people ask him to combine his funny thoughts in a story or two (or include them in some of his other works), he would create some new, even more amazing books, with a perfect balance between fun and seriousness. Good luck in the future, my fb friend, Luke Romyn! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (as my water dragons’ hunters would greet).  

 

 

 

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

  

 

How soap operas could become more interesting for all the people?

December 7, 2012

61339_439444339448293_750911070_nThere are so many people who cannot live without the endless number of episodes of usually meaningless soap operas. I guess there are as much other TV and movie fans who cannot bare the sight and sound of the “boring and irritating” scenes and lines in these long creations of the seventh art. Though I could associate myself with the second group, I’ll try not to offend anyone by this note/post, as its goal is to show the good sides of some of the so called soap operas.

Actually, my inspiration for these writings of mine appeared after I watched some episodes of a Turkish TV saga: The Magnificent Century. A very well-made story about the long-gone years of the flourishing state of The Ottoman Empire, with a lot of treachery, intrigues and infidelities, as it behooves to a real soap opera. Yet, all these usual features were combined with a lot of history facts, ancient wisdom of Quran, many of the one-time habits, magnificent costumes, etc, which made the TV saga something more than endless episodes full of meaningless jabber, cheating, or infidelities and marriages of convenience. Probably some of the facts and events in this soap opera were exaggerated and had little in common with the real history, nevertheless watching it one could get a pretty good idea about the past of some of the former, famous empires. It seems that’s the reason why I (and many other non-fans of soap operas too) could enjoy this TV saga together with my parents.

I guess many TV fans would say the episodes of The Magnificent Century couldn’t be considered a typical soap opera, the title historical saga would be more appropriate (though I would underline on second thought the difference between the usual, endless episodes for our modern families and the one-time events and treacheries is not so great). Besides, I also think historical facts and events are not the only changes that could be added to the so called “meaningless” sagas. The screen-writers could insert in the scripts some of the modern wisdom, there are a lot of good thoughts and quotes of modern philosophers, scientists, actors and actresses, etc. that could be used:

If you don’t want tax dollars helping the sick and poor, then it’s time to stop saying you want a government based on Christian values. John Fugelsang.

The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away. David Viscott.

Don’t let school ruin your education. A. Einstein.

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will. Either by having nothing happened at all, or by having everything happen all at once. Paolo Coelho.

It is not the wound that teaches but the healing. Marty Rubin. etc.

If they are written and used at the right places, then the soap operas will become a combination of genres, thus much more interesting for much more people?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,