Archive for the ‘birthday’ Category

some jokes for the end of the weekend and the beginning of the new week (some not good for kids) + an ivitiation for a party :)

January 6, 2013

232_357159974373693_1964868022_nAs tomorrow, 7th January,  is my name-day (a feast that as important as birthdays in some countries like Bulgaria, and even more important than birthdays in Greece), I’d love to invite all my virtual friends to celebrate together. Actually, according to the custom, one shouldn’t be invited to come to such a feast but as few people know about that, I thought it would be appropriate to write my invitation too…:).

 

A wife complains to her friends: “I married my  husband as he was well-built and silent. Later on, I realized he just couldn’t talk and hide his belly at the same time…”

 

A soon to be bald guy enters into a drug-store and asks: “Give me something to preserve my hair!”

“Oh, no problem, here’s a nice small box for keeping the fallen hairs safe…”

 

A young couple is having sex. The wife: “Oh, honey, talk to me dirty things…”

“Sure, sweetheart! The kitchen, the dinning room, the bathroom…”

 

One of the good ways to walk on the peace path and reach its final goal is to share your feasts with other nations and experience theirs as well… my future The Origin Of Gods/A Writer’s Adventures.

 

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

 

 

 

 

 

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middle of the week’s jokes…:)…

November 8, 2012

hope some blonde women won’t be too mad at some of my posted jokes… They are just jokes, it doesn’t mean they should be 100 % true… I know blondes who are much more intelligent than some brunettes…

A blonde woman asked her friend: “Why all the men I date are not clean shaven?”
“Well, have you tried not to be late for your dates?”

A mother was frustrated with her daughter and asked her: “Do you know what happens to the young girls who don’t eat their breakfast?”
“Sure I do!” said the girl right away. “They become models…”

During a math class the teacher announced to the students: “If these of you who sit in front stop fighting, the school-boys and girls in the middle will be able to read their comic-books, so that those at the back seats could sleep peacefully…”

Reading between the lines is useful, it doesn’t tire the eyes… Sasha Gitry.

One of the biggest problems men could come across is that helping some people could lead to a lot of trouble for others… my future Incredible Future.
Happy 165th birthday to Bram Stoker, BTW! Thank you for the gripping, scary, inspirational stories! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (as my water dragons’ hunters would say).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

 

middle of the week’s jokes…;)

June 27, 2012

Conversation between two businessmen:

“My employees haven’t been asking for raise of the salaries for two years… I wonder how they cheat me?…”

 

Graveyard is the only place where a little girl in a white dress and a doll could scare anyone more than a drunkard with a bat…

 

How can we start small business? It’s quite easy, buy a big one and just wait…

 

As today some of my good friends (all over the world 😉 have birthdays, I couldn’t refrain from posting an excerpt from a future book of mine: There’s a rumour (according to one of my books) the birthday cake’s candles should be lighted by a dragon, so that one’s good wishes could become true… But I hope my greeting card will save anyone the trouble to look for such a dangerous creature…;) HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all who celebrate! Wish you all the best!

LET THE WONDERFUL NOISE OF THE SEA ALWAYS SOUNDS IN YOUR EARS! (a greeting of the water dragons’ hunters – my Tale Of The Rock Pieces).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08HTXf00CJ0, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVW4-030Yc

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.worpress.com,

http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard, myspace.com/ivan_allanbard

The best birthday wishes, parties, presents, guests, etc you’ve experienced, seen or heard…

November 3, 2011

No matter what we are told or have heard, our birthdays are among the best feasts. Even those who hate all the preparations or wonderings who to invite or not would admit the sweet fever, while waiting to see what presents they will have or the gratitude of the guests because of the nice party, could be amongst the best memories one could have.

In every country, I guess, there are different ways to celebrate the birthdays, but what they all have in common is the fun of the unusual events, presents, guests, wishes, meals, places where to celebrate, costumes to wear, etc. I remember many funny birthday presents, wishes, customs, etc I’ve heard, seen or read about over the years. Like the one in Alice In Wonderland, where all the creatures celebrated their non-birthdays too (all the rest of the days in the year, except the birthday). Or the one in another book, where the character claimed he didn’t have a birthday, as he had been born in the night. Or the peculiar but too dangerous custom from a future book of mine to find a dragon to light the candles of the birthday cake (that’s the most certain way to make your birthday wishes come true), etc.

The good presents I received over the years were a lot as far as I remember, but I will always remember two of them: a brand new, very expensive camera for an ex-communist country, and an expensive watch from the famous BVLGARI brand. Though the greatest presents are of the kind that cannot be bought with money, these were given wholeheartedly, so they were not so different from the other priceless presents…;). What about your experience? I guess anyone could add a thing or two…      

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, www.allanbard.blogspot.com,

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard