Archive for November, 2012

middle of the week’s jokes…;)

November 28, 2012

In a chat room: “Probably you are very beautiful?”

“Oh, thank you! Why do you think so ;)?”

“Well, it’s the only way for nature to compensate such a stupidity…”

 

Why blonde women throw crumbs in the lavatory pan? To feed the toilet duck…

 

A drug addict enters in a church and starts to blow the candles. “What are you doing?!” asks a priest.

“What do you mean what? I have a birthday today…”

 

Future could bring not only new, better improvements, useful gadgets, or perfect medicines, etc. There would also be a lot of crazy and insane decisions and choices… like the one to sue yourself from the past for being lazy, bully, or not shrewd enough… my The Origin Of Gods, probably :).

 

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

jokes after Thanksgiving… not good for kids…:)

November 24, 2012

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Hope everyone who celebrated had a nice feast?

 

 

 

“I want to wear a real pearl necklace in the fist act!” an actress was whimsical, telling to her director.

 

“Ok, but then the poison you drink in the last act should be real too…” says the director.

 

 

 

 

 

The jinn from lamp finally said to Aladin: “When I see how you rub the lamp, I assume you still don;t have a girlfriend…”

 

 

 

In the court the judge said to the 80 year old defendant: “Last Friday you raped an old lady at 9 p.m. in the park, then at 10 p.m. you raped a young blonde lady in the city main square, and at 11 p.m. you raped a beautiful student at the railway station… But that’s impossible!”

 

“Impossible my ass…” replies the defendant. “I have a bicycle…”

 

 

 

And as I’ll finish my next The Opposite Of Magic soon, I couldn’t refrain from posting a quote from there, quote I like very much: Blessed is the one who wins, but incomparably more blessed is that one who wins with honour. Ruler Beogard’s people’s saying. And cheating with honour is as worthy of respect as winning honestly, as the leader of the sea traders Godrick would add…

 

 

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

 

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

 

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

 

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The REAL story of the 1st Thanksgiving…

November 24, 2012

I know many USA citizens wouldn’t like this post, some of my friends at facebook are usually frustrated because of such posting as it is against their country… Yet, I think it’s not against USA but actually just condemns and show such vile acts… This is history and must be very well known… Those who forget their past are forced to repeat it again, as they said in Babylon 5, right? Thanks to a good FB friend of mine, Gray Wolf, I could share it here too, happy Thanksgiving, let’s such vicious acts remain in the past:
The story began in 1614 when a band of English explorers sailed home to England with a ship full of Patuxet Indians bound for slavery. They left behind smallpox which virtually wiped out those who had escaped. By the time the Pilgrims arrived in Massachusetts Bay they found only one living …Patuxet Indian, a man named Squanto who had survived slavery in England and knew their language. He taught them to grow corn and to fish, and negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Nation. At the end of their first year, the Pilgrims held a great feast honoring Squanto and the Wampanoags.

But as word spread in England about the paradise to be found in the new world, religious zealots called Puritans began arriving by the boat load. Finding no fences around the land, they considered it to be in the public domain. Joined by other British settlers, they seized land, capturing strong young Natives for slaves and killing the rest. But the Pequot Nation had not agreed to the peace treaty Squanto had negotiated and they fought back. The Pequot War was one of the bloodiest Indian wars ever fought.

In 1637 near present day Groton, Connecticut, over 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe had gathered for their annual Green Corn Festival which is our Thanksgiving celebration. In the predawn hours the sleeping Indians were surrounded by English and Dutch mercenaries who ordered them to come outside. Those who came out were shot or clubbed to death while the terrified women and children who huddled inside the longhouse were burned alive. The next day the governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared “A Day Of Thanksgiving” because 700 unarmed men, women and children had been murdered.

Cheered by their “victory”, the brave colonists and their Indian allies attacked village after village. Women and children over 14 were sold into slavery while the rest were murdered. Boats loaded with a many as 500 slaves regularly left the ports of New England. Bounties were paid for Indian scalps to encourage as many deaths as possible.

Following an especially successful raid against the Pequot in what is now Stamford, Connecticut, the churches announced a second day of “thanksgiving” to celebrate victory over the heathen savages. During the feasting, the hacked off heads of Natives were kicked through the streets like soccer balls. Even the friendly Wampanoag did not escape the madness. Their chief was beheaded, and his head impaled on a pole in Plymouth, Massachusetts — where it remained on display for 24 years.

The killings became more and more frenzied, with days of thanksgiving feasts being held after each successful massacre. George Washington finally suggested that only one day of Thanksgiving per year be set aside instead of celebrating each and every massacre. Later Abraham Lincoln decreed Thanksgiving Day to be a legal national holiday during the Civil War — on the same day he ordered troops to march against the starving Sioux in Minnesota.

This story doesn’t have quite the same fuzzy feelings associated with it as the one where the Indians and Pilgrims are all sitting down together at the big feast. But we need to learn our true history so it won’t ever be repeated. Next Thanksgiving, when you gather with your loved ones to Thank God for all your blessings, think about those people who only wanted to live their lives and raise their families. They, also took time out to say “thank you” to Creator for all their blessings…

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

some weekend dose of one of the best medicines, laughter…:) not all for kids though…

November 18, 2012

Two youngsters watch two girls in a bar. “Let’s go to meet them!” says the one.

“Ok,”but a bit later,” says the other. “Let them pay their bill first…”

 

Why people are frustrated by Chinese quality of stuff and praise German products so much? Don’t you remember that The Great Chinese Wall have been standing thousands of years and the wall in Berlin was destroyed after a few decades?… As God made Heaven and Earth….. the rest was Made in China….!!!

 

“When I left my previous landlady, she cried…” said a youngster to his new landlady.

“Don’t worry, darling, I won’t,” replied his new landlady. “I take the rent in advance…”

 

All the women say they like men with uniforms, but what they keep to themselves is that they actually prefer the other sex without them… my future Incredible Future or Lake Mystery :).

 

Hope everyone had/have a nice weekend! 🙂

 

 

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

 

middle of the week’s jokes…:)…

November 8, 2012

hope some blonde women won’t be too mad at some of my posted jokes… They are just jokes, it doesn’t mean they should be 100 % true… I know blondes who are much more intelligent than some brunettes…

A blonde woman asked her friend: “Why all the men I date are not clean shaven?”
“Well, have you tried not to be late for your dates?”

A mother was frustrated with her daughter and asked her: “Do you know what happens to the young girls who don’t eat their breakfast?”
“Sure I do!” said the girl right away. “They become models…”

During a math class the teacher announced to the students: “If these of you who sit in front stop fighting, the school-boys and girls in the middle will be able to read their comic-books, so that those at the back seats could sleep peacefully…”

Reading between the lines is useful, it doesn’t tire the eyes… Sasha Gitry.

One of the biggest problems men could come across is that helping some people could lead to a lot of trouble for others… my future Incredible Future.
Happy 165th birthday to Bram Stoker, BTW! Thank you for the gripping, scary, inspirational stories! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (as my water dragons’ hunters would say).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

 

The best way to bring up children.

November 2, 2012

“Eat your vegetables!”, “Be very careful when you get across the streets!”, “Chew well!”, “Do your homework!”, “Come back at home before 10 p. m.!”, “Don’t watch restricted movies!”, “Don’t bring any animals at home!”, etc… Everyone have heard these or similar restrictions and orders from our parents, and of course everyone of us hated such rules as nothing else in the world. Although, when kids grow up they see the good in most of these restrictions, yet there are many others that usually make no sense and could leave a deep scar even in a grown-up youngster’s soul…

I guess there is an unwritten rule that few parents would admit some of their methods for upbringing could cause much more harm than good. Of course, there are so many examples which prove the opposite that probably every grown-up kid could name one or two. I’m sure some of these examples could even break the hearts of the toughest guys, fortunately I’ve just heard and read about them (I’ll never forget an article in a newspaper about a kid in China as far as I remember, whose parents kept him locked in a cage in the basement so that he could cause no trouble and would learn all about discipline, etc). Yet, though not so disturbing, those of some parents’ methods that affect mostly the soul could be really harmful too. This is not just my opinion apparently, a friend of mine will never forget how badly his grandmother treated him from time to time (she had thrown away his entire collection of cigarette boxes, though he didn’t like cigarettes themselves and even now, when he’s a grown up, he doesn’t smoke and never stopped to hate these small men killers). Many of my other friends and acquaintances (including me) will always remember their moms and dads’ bad attitude towards their pets (I still miss my hamster whose fate was almost the same as that of my friend’s cigarette boxes’ collection and I will always feel sorry that I wasn’t allowed to have anything like a cat or dog in the flat). Many grown up kids also think to listen to their parents’ constant mocking remarks about their kids’ hobbies, likes and dislikes could be even worse (I still feel bad remembering my mom and dad’s opinion about my favourite fantasy and sci-fi movies and books, a lot of my friends share the same thoughts about their parents’ attitude too)…

Children are not guilty for their parents’ mistakes, but it’s not an obstacle for them to repeat the same mistakes as grown-ups. I guess this quote from Star Gate should be remembered well by all moms and dads. As well as the thought the wrong attitude towards their kids could even cause enough troubles for their future jobs and carriers (just for example, if my parents were more kindly disposed to my passion for fantasy, sci-fi and all sorts of animals and plants, I would start writing much earlier and would probably find a really good job on time). Many grown up kids could share much worse examples, I guess?

Dear parents, don’t forget kids are one of the best ways for us to evolve in better persons and, for the present, our only way for immortality. Children could be very different from their moms and dads, but in many cases this could be the most wonderful thing (whose parents wouldn’t be proud of their heirs if they become the best in exactly in these areas, activities and jobs the people who raised them didn’t like and tried to forbid?).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,