Archive for September, 2012

some jokes for the weekend ;)…

September 29, 2012

In the middle of a class the teacher told the young John to stand up.
“But I didn’t do anything wrong!” the boy was surprised.
“I know,” said the teacher. “I just can’t stand to see the face of Steve behind you…”

 

 “Why you came so late last night?” the father asks his teenage daughter.

“I was attending lectures at the university…”

“Until 2 o’clock in the night???”

“Well, the professor was stuttering…”

 

  A farmer caught some thieves in his fields to steal turnips: “Now I caught you stealing, let’s see what the police will do…”

“No way! we don’t steal anything, we just help you by pulling the turnips to grow faster…”

Evolution could be really interesting sometimes… So, in the future werewolves wouldn’t change their appearances but only their serious frame of minds, attitude, wise thoughts… And they wouldn’t be able to infect anyone by a bloody bite, but by a good licking, a kiss, or making you laugh at their jokes… my future Incredible Future.

Have a great weekend, everyone :)!

http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,

www.allanbard.blogspot.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/allanbard/,

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew

some jokes for middle of September :)

September 18, 2012

The photo was sent from a good friend of mine, so I don’t know the photographer and the jokes are not all mine as usual :).

In a chatting room: “How tall are you?”

“145 cm…”

“You are a little princess! And how much you weight?”

“Even less than that! 120 kg only…”

 

A colonel had to send a couple of soldiers to a dangerous mission, so he gathered all of them and asked:

” I need a few of you but to which I didn’t lend money…”

 

Such a conversation we could hear only in an ideal family:

“Dear, go to have some beers with your friends.”

“I can’t honey. I haven’t finished cleaning with the vacuum cleaner…”

 

A mother said to her child: Soon we’ll have another kid! What would you like it to be – a brother or a sister?”

“Well, mom, if it won’t affect your figure too much I’d like a pony…”

 

What would one expect from a world where one of the most delicious (chocolate) things looks the same way as one of the most disgusting (s…t)… my future Incredible Future :).

Have a great week, everyone! 🙂 🙂

 

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,

 

http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard, myspace.com/ivan_allanbard, http://www.facebook.com/ivanstoikov.allanbard, ,

 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov/121092637984053?sk=wall,

 

 

What is, actually, a vacation about ;)?

September 8, 2012

Despite the above quote, I think a vacation is really useful for anyone, no matter what job we have or whether we like it or we are just obliged to perform all those “boring and stupid” activities every working day… For many people such a question is stupid, as there shouldn’t be any other answer than having a lot of all the fun possible (and they are right, of course, but usually the fun they mean includes only drinking a lot of alcohol, having a lot of sex with different partners, eating enormous quantities of tasty food, getting some sun tan and washing /literally/ themselves in the sea, etc). Yet, I guess such a vacation could lead to a lot of trouble (not only connected with one’s health but with future financial situation or loosing a lot of brain cells at courts and in fierce arguments about whose kid is the new-born, etc).

There are much better ways to spend a vacation, according to my humble opinion, and one of them is to combine as many different kinds of fun as possible. Having sex, eating tasty food and taking care of one’s body at the beach or at a mountain go very well with some sightseeing, reading (or writing 😉 a good book, finding some new friends all over the wolrd, learning some interesting facts about the history, future, present or environment of a resort/place, etc.

It seems few people would like such a vacation, though… When I told my brother that I planned to spend an afternoon in some museums while I was on vacation, he said that I was crazy and would probably be the only one who would “waste” his precious time in the most important period of the year. Many of my friends thought that way too, until I showed them the photos I made. It seems then they realized that the beauty of such kind of fun during a vacation surpasses or at least could be equal even to the best sex encounters possible or the most amazing adventure based on drinking too much of the finest alcohol in the world… BTW, I’ll be really glad if the situation in many other countries is different and much more fans of the more unusual vacations could be found J?

Anyone could see more of my vacation photos at my facebook, flickr albums:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4123248491149.156998.1581465695&type=3, http://www.flickr.com/photos/allanbard/…