Archive for April, 2012

weekend jokes ;)

April 21, 2012

4 men are waiting in a dentist waiting-room, while from the dentists cabinet awful sounds of his instruments are heard… Then, the door of the cabinet opens and the dentists asks: “Who’s last?”
“ME!” reply the patients simultaneously…

In the middle of the night a bandit threatens a man with a knife on his back: “Give me your money!” “I don’t have any…”says the scared man. “Then, give me your credit cards!” “They are not with me…” “Give me your jewelries, watch!!!” “I don’t have any of them too…” The bandit jumps on the man’s back: “Then, you’ll ride me to the corner!!!” 😉

I know that many girls/women don’t like jokes about blonde women but there are some pretty good among them :):

What is it called when a blonde woman blows in another blonde woman’s ear? A transfer of data…

How could one make a blonde woman laugh on Monday afternoon? Just tell her a simple joke on Friday morning…

Have a nice weekend, everyone!  Don’t forget: One can fight money only with money… as my Mountaineers say :).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

 

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How far should one go, while writing a book?

April 17, 2012

As far as I know, the common opinion about writing of books is that it is the easiest way to earn a lot of money, sitting comfortably in front of a PC, laptop, white sheet of paper, etc. Writing, you don’t have to lift heavy objects, get dirty with machine oil, get killed by a bullet, or by another awful weapon, or get a mental disease like in professions where the life of many people depends on you, etc… Usually, this is what those who never tried to write a story would say. Sometimes, writing could be as hard as any physical work (like digging of channels, for example), creating of a story could have a great influence on a writer’s mental health, the wrong interpretation of a book could lead to many murders… To write well, one has to experience many unpleasant activities, depending on your story, like stealing of valuable objects, cheating on your wife/husband, learning to wield well any weapon, or feeling the enormous fear of a doomed victim, or the many dreadful events accompanying the creation of religion, etc…

Of course, some writers would say if a writer has a good imagination, he or she wouldn’t need any experience to write excellent stories. Many others would claim without experiencing every feeling, activity, job, mishap, etc of your characters, you wouldn’t create true, real adventures, good dialogues, or even a gripping plot. There are some of them who would even swear that a writer should reach the end, writing a good manuscript. They would claim that sometimes it means even to kill someone, or destroy some buildings, or steal an enormous sum of money… These guys would point out that doing evil, one could do a lot of good in some cases, so killing a murderer for example could prevent many other killings. Besides, such a “cruel” deed could be the base of an incredible description and plot, which could reveal some excellent wisdom too…

However, my humble (for the present 😉 writing experience shows no writer should become the bad character in reality. We have a saying in Bulgaria (can’t remember the English interpretation): Every evil leads to something good, but there is also something else no one should forget… As some of my characters say: Using evil, even for our own good purposes, will finally make us a part of evil itself. I would point out too that J. R. Tolkien brilliantly showed this in his The Lord Of The Rings, where the evil in the one ring finally changed irreversibly everyone of its bearers…

Furthermore, no one would pay attention to the wisdom in a book if its writer did the same horrible things, described and anathemized in his/her works? According to my humble opinion, there should be a good balance between how horrible our experience should be and our “realistic” works. All the writers must use their life-time experience (like education, courses attended, many events and knowledge acquired in the every day routine, etc.), but it doesn’t mean they have to create such one for the sake of a “real” plot that they could become the evil characters in their stories?

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkixN9Nr2Q, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

happy Easter to all who celebrate this weekend! + some jokes ;)

April 7, 2012

After a car crash, a driver comes to consciousness in a hospital: “Where am I?”
“In 501”, replies the nurse. “Room or cell?” 😉

A wife says to her husband: “You know, now I’m glad our daughter has a piercing in the nose, it’s much easier to wake her up in the morning for school…:)

After being a soldier for a week, a village youngster wrote to his parents: “You have no idea how wonderful it is here, I can stay in bed up to 5,30 a.m.!!!”

The good thing to worship many gods is that way one will have much more holidays than the rest… my future The Origin Of Gods.

Have a great weekend/Easter time!
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkixN9Nr2Q, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com

happy April’s Fool Day! :):):)

April 1, 2012

Do you know some of the favourite characters from Russian fairy-tales:
Grandmother Yaga – a famous witch, likes to kidnap and eat small kids.
Kastchei The Immortal, immortal being something like a vampire.
Leshii, something like a zombie, and the 3 headed dragon…
Grandma Yaga brewed a good vodka and called the 3 headed dragon: “Hey, 3 headed, I made a great vodka, so come over to drink it!”
“No, Grandma Yaga, we with Kastchei The Immortal drank a lot yesterday and all my heads hurt…”
Then, the old lady called Kastchei: “Come quickly, I made a great vodka!”
“No, Grandma Yaga, we with the 3 headed dragon drunk so much yesterday that now I wish I wasn’t immortal…”
Finally, she called Leshii and he was in awe with the idea. So, Grandma Yaga when out of her house to wait for her guest. Soon he appeared running, but he fell down at every 5 steps, then got up and after 5 steps fell down again and so on…
“Why you fall down every 5 steps?” the old lady asked him.
“Well, when I remember what a good vodka you made, I run to drink it as soon as possible…” replied Leshii. “But when I remember that after that you’ll want to have sex with me, I loose consciousness…” 🙂

An advertisement in a newspaper: I’m looking to marry an intelligent, carrying man, non-smoker, who doesn’t drink, loves kids… Well, there’s a 100% discount for billionaires…

A small boy asked his grandpa: Could you give me 1000 $ from your pension? I’ll give it back from mine… ;).

Have a great April’s Fool Day, everyone! Don’t let be fooled too easy…;)
The best way to find/know a mermaid (even an ex-one) is to see whether her hair gets wet… That’s the most certain evidence! my Tale Of The Rock Pieces.

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com,